1. |
A Minute of your Time
01:02
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hey – can everyone hear me out for a second?
i just want to make sure that we’re all on the same page – or at least close to it, anyway... this is a preface to the inalienable truths – in what i have to say
‘cause each person, each voice – a tool – and i am but a blade
not to cut you or others down or to divide, but simply cut away
to expose within our lives the things that bind us to each other, and collectively we say:
support and unify!
speak up, act out, arise!
speak up!
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2. |
Night Danger
02:31
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i’ve thought about it before about a million times
the crawling under my skin, the silence in my mind
i’ve gotten close to that place, felt cement on my chest before it pulled me under, I drew another breath
felt every anxious blood cell answer out to your call
you spoke your truth to them, sung it our standing tall and even when he stalked you, and he did what was done it could not silence all the fire in your lungs
try to take us away! try to make us abstain! try to silence us,
we’ll stay - we’ll say...
they thought that something happened in their community the threat of stranger danger less a reality
so when this violence happens in our society
why do we lobby silence and insecurity?
unlearn defeatist notions that nothing can be done we should be armed with all forms of resilience congregate openly and speak together as one point to our predators and get them on the run!
try to take us away! try to make us abstain! try to silence us,
we’ll stay - we’ll say...
NIGHT DANGER
i’ve thought about it before about a million times
the crawling under my skin, the silence in my mind
i’ve gotten close to that place, felt cement on my chest before it pulled me under I drew another breath
it took 11 years for that “justice” to be served but it will never match pain given unreserved some days i wish it all just relied upon our words but until then I’ll take every chance to be heard
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3. |
Bender
03:04
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who here could use a drink, drown out the sirens
my eyes half closed and red like the horizon
my skin pricks, and my jaw twists, and the failing light of day promises me soon it will all go away...
oh, satisfaction here beyond a doubt
taking the easiest of all the routes
to feel anything but trapped within this skin so confining
and there is not a price i wouldn’t pay
cause we’re all looking for the easy way
to forget ourselves – and numbness seems to drown out my lived violence
and there was nothing left for you to do oh, but pour another drink or two
and there was nothing to figure out from all these pieces
that are always falling – that are always falling on the ground from
all this excess
i was always falling – i was always falling on the ground, on the ground, i was falling on the ground
oh there is no one that is more devout
pray at the altar with an open mouth
purge out all these spirits – confessions in the stalls of a bathroom and when it’s hard to keep my vision straight
and i can’t remember my very name
that’s when i’ll forget every regret that i’ve had before now
and there was nothing left for me to do oh, but have another bump or two
and there was nothing to think about cause i’m in pieces
that are always falling – that are always falling on the ground from
all this excess
that are always falling – that are always falling on the ground, on the ground, i was falling on the ground
so now the bar is closed, but i’m not done
and you are looking like the only one
who is on my level, sinking faster with every passing second and before i am sure that this is right
i ask you if you want to spend the night
because being full is much better than being empty handed
and there was nothing left for me to prove
my mind was still, my body making moves
and there was nothing left – i had blacked out... cause i’m in pieces
that are always falling – that are always falling on the ground from all this excess
that are always falling – that are always falling on the ground from all this violence
that are always falling – that are always falling on the ground from...
i don’t like this
that are always falling – that are always falling on the ground, on the ground, i was falling on the ground
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4. |
Dogs
02:39
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well i should have seen it coming
that storm was rolling in
and you’re one of those fair weather friends cost/ gain analysis reveals the fix i need
it comes from me
that’s too much to ask
and after all this time
of me being faithfully, devotedly canined against your side...
DOGS
and now where have you gone? you left me on the lawn,
tied to this stake,
out in the rain,
muzzled and choking on this chain!
so maybe i fell off that wagon again
found myself hospitalized and immobilized broken and bereft
needing you to be there
needing anyone to be there
was too much to ask
and after all this time you would rather tell me from a good safe distance
to deal with this alone
and now where have you gone? you left me on the lawn
tied to this stake
out in the rain
muzzled and choking on this chain!
no rewards for bad habits
the only tricks and treats that i do deeply upset you –
go lay down, girl. go lay down!
well it seems that my addiction has caused so much friction between us tinfoil and flaps, like shrapnel, lead back to my body at the scene there road killed, blood spilled!
and now all i have is shame poured into my veins mistreatment will not help me
i’ll hot shot my way straight to hell
and now where have you gone? you left me on the lawn
tied to this stake
out in the rain
muzzled and choking on this chain!
and now where have you gone? you left me on the lawn
tied to this stake
out in the rain
muzzled and choking on this chain!
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5. |
Shadow Puppets
02:03
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tell it once again, take a big breath now
tell us how it felt when the shadow choked you out did it have a name, and did they ever doubt
that reality may not be what they think it is about
but there was something in the way so heavy on my skin wanting to be let in // the weight of steel mistakes
when the silence hits, it’s an orchestra of screams
yell yourself awake from these graphic , lucid dreams swallow, smoke, and shoot away these visions by all means tell yourself – yet once again – this isn’t what it seems
but there was something in the way so heavy on my tongue wanting to come undone // hate this self: medicate
are you even in there, is anybody home?
your face is scabbed and picked and sunken – hollowed polished stone no one understands this, and no one wants to know
the struggle that you go through is for you to face alone
and there has always been something in the distance there whispering in the back of my mind // to try // to die
there was a time when i could have been myself
but now all i want to be //away from this // away from me
something in the way i – something in the way i – something I could have been that day but there was nothing left of me – nothing left of me, i – nothing left of me, i – nothing left for me to be, just that that day – and there was nothing left of, nothing left of me.
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6. |
Free Birds
02:44
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oh how’d I come to feel this way? tried to surround myself with people like you and me, oh baby – all I got were empty head games left to play
when I decided to move to the city it was for the feeling of conscious community, but now all I feel is that I’ve never been more isolated!
now you all feel so far away
and there was nothing left for me to say or you to hear – just need some distance, dear I couldn’t help myself, fumbled toward that ledge and fell
go on and ask about my day – stare vacantly into the empty space between my lips, honey come on and tell me it’ll be okay
there’s just no hiding from all the constant misinformation that we’re given with this media, so overwhelmed by the choices we don’t get to make
now you all feel so far away
and there was nothing left for me to say or you to hear – just need some distance, dear I couldn’t help myself, fumbled toward that ledge and fell
and now all that we do to relate is have these consumptive practices we agreed to hate now how can we change these things if we can’t even see straight
there is no hiding from all of this weight that bares down on my chest and the constant animosity that builds inside me as we are all alienated
and you all feel so far away
and there was nothing left for me to say or you to hear – just need some distance, dear and you all feel so far away
now you feel so far away
yeah, you all feel so far away
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7. |
Mother Chaos
02:43
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couldn’t hear it – couldn’t see it
a refusal to believe it
you reacted as though it was for you
did it please you to respond to our requests with threats of death (and) social tests that others may follow through
close your eyes and close your minds your tongues are all serrated knives
how did it ever come to this
how did we become so remiss
your power comes from the censorship we allow you to exploit
couldn’t choose to just ignore you
anti-intellectual school
new edition – old submission – bits to chew
the intention – pure invention – saying all we need is ascension from the chaos to hierarchies you could prove
close your eyes and close your minds your tongues are all serrated knives
how did it ever come to this
how did we become so remiss
your power comes from the censorship we allow you to exploit
it’s in fashion – be impassioned
say we weaponized compassion
it’s alarming how disarming it can be
when you listen to ‘pay contrition’
respect the individualism
don’t agree? that’s fine with me – but hear me out
close your eyes and close your minds your tongues are all serrated knives
how did it ever come to this
how did we become so remiss
your power comes from the censorship we allow you to exploit
we objectify the world, and we objectify those in it, because we objectify ourselves – objectify ourselves and in this – the missing of a point, the missing of a mark, the missing of another voice lost
to the violence of silence in another man’s version of what my body is made for
is there any way i can reach you in the fray?
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8. |
Somewhere in the Middle
02:47
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oh have you all taken the bait?
what is it that you are afraid of –
that you would rather choose to fleece yourselves of all your agency?
and is this the place where i embrace my ability to stand up here and shout, “we must force the people to be free” – insinuating that it is me who knows best, and speak my absolutes as truths
as though i have a final answer and as though i too couldn’t become a monster...
too many people to lead in a fight
there was no hope standing naked on the frontlines
too many people vanish in the night
who could have stopped those hands that dragged them clear out of sight
and who will dare to break on through the instituted illusions
that left us impressed with our own strong songs of alleged democracy?
and in this world, there are two kinds of liberty – one of them stemming from positivity where revolutionaries believe that people have to be transformed – coerced to become the better, rational beings that their leaders want them to be –
and the other? negativity – where we can all do what we want willingly (and within reason)
there’s governance, but not dictatorship rule
but we have become fools and think that economic freedom is something to be believed in – like it’s the equivalent to political freedom – and it isn’t
too many people whose bodies enslaved
make up the mass of products that you buy to satiate
too many people in lost unmarked graves
whose bones should echo stories of the lives that they gave
and now we’re in neo-con hell
consumers are the individuals and everyone seems pacified by all the lies bought to uphold.
and what are we supposed to do if all attempts at revolution will end up in tyrannical rule? if there’s always coercion – always another version of truth – who is this for anyway?
is it for you? or you?
it’s not for me.
too many people to lead in a fight
there was no hope standing naked on the frontlines
too many people vanish in the night
who could have stopped those hands that dragged them clear out of sight
too many people, whose bodies enslaved
make up the mass of products that you buy to satiate
too many people in lost unmarked graves
whose bones should echo stories of the lives that they gave
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9. |
Whose Bodies?
02:58
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do you ever stop to ask how bodies vanish from space
from places we belong leaving without a trace
without the open knowledge or rallying support from fellow citizens without police reports?
“what gender are they, honey?”
“what sexuality?” and
“how did they present in their communities?”
“did they lead a risky lifestyle?”
“how did they get their pay?”
and all these questions put against them get put on display
“they probably ran away –
found another place to stay that isn’t here and don’t you worry about it now they don’t just disappear
When you go out to a nightclub, do you ever look around and wonder “is this safe?”
have you had to hit the ground?
does walking in the street with a loved one hand in hand make you do shoulder checks – because you feel demands from eyes that pry and as you,
“why do you act this way?”
have you ever been cornered no chance to walk away countless taken from us and more murdered every day
I’ll tell you something it takes strength to be out in this way
so we resist to this day
refuse to be still
incite/ the right/ disrupt
and break apart the shame that seeks to leave us in the dark
while men were disappearing, toronto’s cops declined to properly assess how all their lives aligned
“he was a quiet man” and “he had kids and a wife”
as though either of those exempted him from crime
a track record of violence and a hateful assault
but he was old and white – surely it’s not his fault
and it was only after 8 mother fucking years
that they would have confirmed all of their darkest fears
and i couldn’t look away – when they posted the picture of his face that day, that was frozen, in death he lay, so still he lay, silenced, without a name – a victim of everyone else’s fucking blame
oh I can’t look away – no, I see it this way. I’ll rage with silent fear, the pain I feel for
no, i couldn’t look away – cause I see it this way – so I’ll try to erase my fear and stand up here and tell them all I feel for this every day
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10. |
Lady Day vs. the State
02:21
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oh can you feel it heavy, thickening up the air –
they said it reeked of filth and claimed a war on fruit she bared eradicate the drugs, well they eradicated her
because her words expressed that revolution should occur
isn’t wild how the structural violence that is acted on drug users is
built to keep them out of sight and
social machinery of this oppression exists because its end goal is silence and it’s
built to keep them out of mind and
our politicians pretend social conditions don’t play into the mission of
keep the war on the poor active
all intersections – people’s social locations – affect whether they’ll make it out of these places alive or in body bags
Billie stood in defiance, refused to play their games they sent in Jimmy Fletcher to try to destroy her name convictions made her unable to play in cabarets
no places left to sing, no play to play for Lady Day
she triedto show them all that she was being framed
she checked herself into a place where she thought she’d be safe at 44 they came, locked her to the hospital bed
a few cents in the band, fifteen 50s strapped to her leg
and isn’t something how the basic assumption is that drug users often have a
moral failure to get over
addiction’s a choice they should not have a voice because the only remorse they feel
is when they are left without help
cold turkey tactics meant to torture our addicts lead to future suspicions around
anything that claims its treatment
body count rises and the overdose crisis is a direct side effect of the bullshit war on drugs that’s rooted in all this othering
the harder the enforcement, the harder come the drugs – criminalize us and institutionalize stigma
the harder the enforcement, the harder come the drugs – criminalize us and mercilessly destroy us all
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Alien Boys Vancouver, British Columbia
Next show on Fri, Jan 13th with The Black Halos & The Spitfires at The Rickshaw.
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