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The Weight of it All

by Alien Boys

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1.
Old Friends 02:02
yes, ma’am, we’re sorry, but we’re sure that your daughter went out and caught a ride to party for a while twice now she’s arrested, for narcotic possession if we kept track of her she’d probably go straight to jail and the weight was coming down shoulders that were not built to support a force that tried to erase her he was not what you thought when you got in the car and he asked you how far you would go with him to pay don’t cry and don’t fight it – just try to keep it quiet the uniform implies he has a gun to hide mistakes her life with bars, and long rides with men in cars dismissive of their gaze / you’re in danger if you don’t obey there is nothing that she wanted more than to feel them break – her rage hot and pure but they could not stand it, they could not stand it she reprimanded and then they preyed a piece of, the puzzle, that they silenced with muzzles the highway took her to a place so far away don’t cry and don’t fight it – just try to keep it quiet the uniform implies he has an alibi she was just one body – anthologized abruptly a case that can’t grow cold is one that’s unbelieved we’ll scream and we’ll fight it, make sure that we aren’t silent her name will carry on and we will make them pay.
2.
Brood 02:54
my mind it wandered, followed my unhinged womb the ticking of a clock i couldn’t see within the room i’ve tasted moonshine, but this was pure the tidal waving was erasing everything i knew before feeling friendly, feeling fine / make mountains out of molehills that i could not have identified / crash collisions, cells divide sensations of contortions held in power right between my thighs forget the sense of self-hood for once - without intoxication now forget the sense of self all for good the moment that you left me was the moment that the walls they came down restless awakenings, embodied grief the traumas of the past came to haunt me in my sleep the body heavy with blood to spare reaching from within and pushing skin to let me know it’s there feeling pressure, on the rise a little chest bursting event of ritual and sacrifice between state and lunar glare the echoed howl into the night the moment your skin touched the air remaining lucid, untethered veins screaming in a crowded room, without any restraint instinct stepped in and became my guide relying on the tricks of chemistry to keep us both alive feeling anxious – who am i to bring you to a place that they fear ritual and sacrifice a pause too pregnant for me to bare the splitting of reality in the before and after care
3.
Anecdote 02:21
is there a limit to the weight of human suffering? lifting the burden of undue responsibility forcing a choice that puts them directly in harm’s way we see it in your eyes (I only care about me) no way to change your mind (I only care about me) political will fades (I only care about me) these empty tired tirades (I only care about me) just sit tight, we’re coming for you critical thinking and compassion are not enemies don’t let your first reaction guide healthcare delivery your track record is sheepish / risk taking here is needed why can’t you commiserate with anything you can’t relate to? ... don’t let us disrupt what you do // just sit tight, we’re coming for you what are the choices that we have in facing current facts get into politics or scream on front lines pushing back no matter where you land, you’ll always feel the lack of impact a tangled mass of wires sitting in dens of liars shortfalls unequivocal / just stand up straight and do it all you’ll see it in my eyes (I’ll make you care about me) if this won’t change your mind (I’ll make you care about me) archaic views will die (I’ll make you care about me) won’t let this chance slip by (I’ll make you care about me) ... we’ll get you one way or another // don’t let us disrupt your othering just sit tight, we’re coming for you
4.
Night Mayor 02:55
can’t win them all, but some will try the purchase power of 100,000 thin blue lines all the mercenaries in society sent to govern us just protect private property no control will afford them all corporeal control of our little species no control will outlive them all watch them fall - watch them fall to pieces no where to go that isn’t wired / poverty the spectacle will keep the working class in line stacking covert decks, keep face cards as pets, running for office means increasing their bottom lines they say they took an oath to protect and serve (self-interest) activists and land defenders aren’t the right investments one hand rests on the butts of beloved guns while the other covers body cams you just spent millions on as trust erodes, we now ask the questions abusers base their narratives on speculation investigate themselves to extinction disrupt, dismantle, and defund easy as the alphabet a swift kick to a hornets’ nest police state sealed envelopes evidence locker ballot boxes
5.
Deliberate 02:05
say it once, say it twice, say it three times, you know “my body, my choice” it means something to me maybe it’s all just a dream – imagination feigning high contrast violence screaming through tv screens narratives erase those deemed as weak it has been decided, partitioned and divided swallow past, choke on absurdity talking in circles looks like chasing tails to me pestilence comes to erase and poison all your minds silence every contrary voice you can find say it once, say it twice, say it three times, you know i am deliberate and nothing scares me the divide, getting wider, the unaccounted balance you owe it to those who did all this work for free pick and choose alliance carefully who represents you with tongues of guns and bleach i’m deliberate – nothing scares me you’ll pay for all the blood you’ve spilled into the streets
6.
The Lever 02:03
you - an empty vessel left devoid of meaning accelerate these existential feelings keep it warm and numb / keep it safe and dumb i’ll stay high forever tell me that it’s nothing i can walk away from tell me that it’s something you won’t entertain it won’t be easy, taking this all the way but tell me now, what’s the point of living in this state of shame now the tide is just rising faster every season brings natural disasters flood and scorch the ground / break the levees down my hand is on the lever all we own is nothing but the means of our exclusion mass-producing ultra profits as we tap in double time young interns that self-indenture, flagellated and refined clear cut through thickets of ethical sluff / unclick my jaw and glue both my eyes shut / rather be kept in the dark left to rust.
7.
Exit Us 02:00
i own one thing / it starts with me accepted phallus - social status imposes on everything a pack of barking dogmas in the street the lines they draw, nonsensical for what is sanctioned medically make no mistakes about it - forcing us to reproduce inequality weaponize biology and you will see there’s no saving you violence begets silence, and the last task is evacuating you calling me names / you’re such a bore / you scream and cry while others die say you fight for the unborn / but you cannot hide hypocrisy wicked men make rules for them different than for you and me what’s in these walls is not your call / if they close in, it’s not a sin, but a human right – it’s practical / the toll it takes on our bodies isn’t free / a midway point between the violence and compelled captivity
8.
feeling hopeless? well, don’t despair come on out to the show and we’ll meet you halfway there feeling gloomy? let’s light you up beauty is lodged in the eye of the cupholder my bar stool’s a soapbox, and i call the shots put my best face forward all night in the company of friends erase all the reasons we use to justify a wasted existence bodies lifted, bodies crash to the ground jagged lines across my eyes as stocktaking happens once i was lost, but now i am found put my best face forward all night in the company of friends erase all the reasons we use to justify a wasted existence if i could, then i would forget all about how this might end (wine, weed, and whisky) push myself out into the crowded room to feel some resistance kaleidoscopic, enhanced tunnel vision braving all the elements to take us out on some sordid mission how come we have so much fun but other drugs kill everyone they’ll regulate, collect the tax consumption for the privileged classes now i lay me down to be here indefinitely and though it’s almost ours, the night is done for now can you just hear me out - what was i even going on about?
9.
Shrinkwrap 01:34
pray to the porcelain / turn on the taps for sound reflections of a face / a cool breeze from a tainted lake this body – mine to break l5 and circling all that i should have been no power left to take if there’s nothing left in the tank exhaust myself until holes appear in the surface layer they’ve asked us to disappear shrink-wrapped pre-determined worth give us this daily dose of dread / keep getting mislead l5 and trading in records and magazines for methamphetamines / all unrealistic dreams this body mine to make pulpit awakening / this isn’t who i am i’ll stack my plates instead / strengthen what’s inside my head this body isn’t a thing to throw away not yours to shape – we won’t be swayed don’t ask us to disappear break shrink-wrapped plastic fears self-acceptance will spread / no longer mislead
10.
Johnny sits in the kitchen sipping a cup of tea turns on the television what does dear Johnny see? (click!) another war donation (click!) another bill to pass (click!) domestic violence (click!) the rising cost of gas pick your best propaganda make sure the colours pop sadistic carnival rides / another heart beat stopped what Johnny doesn’t see from his recliner chair is there’s no way out state-sanctioned violence is all that he’s learned try to erase one another in turn don’t look back now ‘cause there’s nowhere to run state-sanctioned violence is all that we’ve won state-sanctioned violence is all that we’ve learned kettled and cornered with nowhere to turn squint through the tear gas and boots as they fall state-sanctioned violence for one and for all Angela turns the keys and the starter jumps to life the tank is almost empty and it is cold tonight her kids are under blankets, hungry and out of sight missing their father because the cops, they took his life no way to make a living that isn’t miserable to take care of her mother she had to drop out of school happening everywhere it’s oppression overtime where’s the way out?

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Pre-order the purple vinyl at alienboys.ca

SPECIAL THANKS
a resounding hell yes to all of the people who have come to see us, love us, and support us over the years; to DIY spaces and the volunteers who make it all happen; to our pals and partners who lift us up when we need it most; to long drives, Lindsay’s van, and borrowed backlines; to our former bandmate, Megan, who helped write a couple of these tracks; to independent news and rigorous journalism; to activists and allies who do not stop pushing back against the bullshit.

we fucking love you.

credits

released October 13, 2023

CREDITS
Mixing and Recording: Jesse Gander at Rain City Recorders
Mastering: Stu McKillop
Cover art: Mira Sonnleitner
Cover layout: Alex Moulton
Insert art/layout: Sarinn Blawatt

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Alien Boys Vancouver, British Columbia

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